DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
Saw a dead kid today. Like my age. Fuck.
Who has friends? Cause I don’t. They only talk to me when my roommate or baby mama are around. Mike is the only exception & he knows better than to be a dick to me with roommate as his best friend.
Mr. Fizzles is gonna go where the sun don’t shine.
My new favorite gif… I love it soooo much.
On the bright side I got to play with a puppy today
LOOK AT HOW WRINKLY HE IS
whenever i buy new clothes i take them home and im just like yo what the fuck did i wear before i had this